Exposing the unspoken truth about personal development and investing in yourself.
My recent ‘ah ha’ moment...
We live in a culture that praises 'knowing'; knowing what you are going to do and what the expected outcome will be i.e. 1+1= 2.
Well personal development doesn't work this way. We think we know what we want and what will be the desired result from working on ourselves but the truth is - we can never really know.
It more like 1+1= 89 – 230 + 4 = ?@#?.
At the start of the year I signed up to work, one on one, with a business mentor/coach to help me with my business. To shape and grow it so I could be proud and feel like it was authentically me. I wanted the powerful therapies and healing modalities I work with, spread into the world for all to see and access.
Now, what I was not expecting but was what I got, was the complete opposite. As a result of looking at my business more deeply I could see where things felt ‘off’ or not me.
The flow on effect caused me to stop advertising my business. I didn’t put a lot of energy into bringing in new clients. And I halted multiple business ideas- workshops, courses and programs. It all just stopped because I discovered more of my inner world was out of alignment and I was creating old patterns and running outdated paradigms within my business.
I live with a strong sense of honesty and authenticity so this needed to be rectified with gentleness and compassion.
How many times have you changed jobs or relationships or homes/locations and the same ‘unwanted stuff’ shows up again and again?
It’s just imprudent not to address the reoccurring habits and patterns that negatively affect your life.
I actually needed everything to 'seemingly' fall apart or stop.
After many years of personal development –“falling apart” is something to be celebrated as it means you are letting go of all things that no longer serve you and are stemming from fear-based thinking.
I unconsciously created space in my life so things holding me back (particular in business) could be addressed.
I assumed this business mentor/coach was going to have my business thrive with a particular result, that’s what I thought I was going to get by working with the coach. Instead I was able to let go of a whole heap of baggage and 'rules' that did not apply to my authentic heart centred life. And discover more of what really excites me and how I really want to show up in my life (not just business)!
So as my time with this mentor comes to an end, I did not create hundreds of clients, my practical side of running my business is still the same, I have not created super amazing looking business cards and websites etc. And I’m still not clear on the end destination because it just doesn’t matter.
Sure, I have some renewed goals however I am more interested in how I get there, the growth and expansion I receive for showing up and am willing to put in what effort is required to reach women in unnecessary discomfort, pain and suffering.
I’m aiming for ‘significance’ not success!
Be the best FOR the world not in the world.
So even though I didn't get what I wanted or expected or assumed however I received multiple 'light bulb' and 'ah ha' moments.
I got exactly what I needed without me knowing the end result at the start of working with the mentor/coach. I am now learning to drop all expectations and assumptions and have decided to just learn and grow in this life time.
And if I can help people connect to what is meaningful in their life or to create it, to feel connected to themselves and their life – feel worthy and deserving to be here – that would be an extra added bonus.
Among many things, I help women “lose weight”. Now, these women who sign up to my programs think it is about them losing weight. But it all changes once we start looking under the hidden layers of what's really going on. They are in an environment that allows them to discover an internal world and open up to the potential of what is possible in their life.
So next time a seminar, presentation, program, class or any personal development opportunity comes your way, don't think you know what the outcome will be, consider what potential 'unknown' possibilities there could be and leave some space for mystery in your life.
5 reasons why I seek personal development...
1. Signifies commitment to me and my life and getting the most out of it with help and support.
2. De-shames the parts of me – light and dark - that society says to ignore or squash down or erase – this has me living in love, self-acceptance and creates more flow in my life.
3. Helps me to connect inwardly and outwardly bringing more understanding and compassion to me and others.
4. Facilitates healthy and meaningful change in all areas of my life.
5. I am supported and gently encouraged to let go of all that does not serve me in living a happy and fulfilling existences. And serving the world!
If you too, dropped expectations, perceived outcomes or known results – what else could there be for you in personal growth and seeking support?